Onion News Network

Onion News Network

A daily web video broadcast from The Onion.
 
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Unmoderated Tag: Onion News Network Rating: Amazing Hits: 33 Comments: 0 The Onion: Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn Ever The Onion: Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn Ever Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph. Oct 9, 2008 11:42 AM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Good Hits: 649 Comments: 0 The Onion: Voting Massacre The Onion: Voting Massacre The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans. User: mongojazz Oct 7, 2008 12:27 PM
Permanent Tag: Onion News Network Rating: Good Hits: 31 Comments: 0 The Onion: China Launches First Willing Manned Mission into Space The Onion: China Launches First Willing Manned Mission into Space Chinese gathered to see Zhang Tong, the first Chinese man to go into space without being chained inside the rocket. User: Griff Oct 2, 2008 2:12 PM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 441 Comments: 2 The Onion: Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad on McCain The Onion: Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad on McCain In response to Republican attacks, Barack Obama unleashed a series of slightly negative ads that gently point out how McCain could be doing a better job. User: Griff Sep 30, 2008 10:08 AM
Headline Tag: Baseball Rating: Good Hits: 216 Comments: 0 The Onion: Yankees Building Vacation Stadium in the Hamptons The Onion: Yankees Building Vacation Stadium in the Hamptons The new facility will be an intimate beachfront stadium where the Yankees can go to get away from the hustle and bustle of New York City. User: Griff Sep 25, 2008 3:41 PM
Permanent Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 38 Comments: 0 The Onion: McCains Economic Plan: Everyone Marry a Beer Heiress The Onion: McCains Economic Plan: Everyone Marry a Beer Heiress McCain pointed to his personal success in marrying a wealthy beer heiress to prove how the plan could benefit every American. Sep 23, 2008 3:12 PM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Good Hits: 555 Comments: 2 The Onion: Obama Vows to Stop Americas Shitty Jobs from Going Overseas The Onion: Obama Vows to Stop Americas Shitty Jobs from Going Overseas In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs. Sep 18, 2008 4:05 PM
Headline Tag: Onion News Network Rating: Amazing Hits: 1015 Comments: 0 The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, you'll barely be able to tell they have no souls. User: Griff Sep 16, 2008 11:56 AM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Good Hits: 218 Comments: 3 The Onion: Market Collapse When Bush Leaves Office The Onion: Market Collapse When Bush Leaves Office The sudden drop in demand for 'Buck Fush' T-shirts and 'Hail to the Chimp' posters could leave millions unemployed. User: White_Wolf Sep 11, 2008 10:28 AM
Headline Tag: Sports Rating: Amazing Hits: 501 Comments: 2 The Onion: Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness of Life The Onion: Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness of Life After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game. Sep 8, 2008 10:36 AM
Headline Tag: Television Rating: Good Hits: 349 Comments: 0 The Onion: Being a Detective Who Talks to Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV The Onion: Being a Detective Who Talks to Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork. Sep 4, 2008 10:05 AM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Good Hits: 346 Comments: 9 The Onion: Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base The Onion: Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible. Sep 2, 2008 11:19 AM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 542 Comments: 1 The Onion: Portrayal of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward for Blacks The Onion: Portrayal of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward for Blacks Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs. Aug 28, 2008 12:10 PM
Headline Tag: Onion News Network Rating: Good Hits: 532 Comments: 1 The Onion: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To South The Onion: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To South Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass beneath them instead. Aug 26, 2008 10:09 AM
Headline Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 534 Comments: 4 The Onion: 430 Crucial Demographics The Onion: 430 Crucial Demographics A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November. User: White_Wolf Aug 19, 2008 10:03 AM
 
Tags: The Onion, Onion News Network, Baseball, American Football, Racism, Sports, Business, George W Bush, John McCain, Barack Obama, Politics, Television, Video Clips

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